Creating A New You

Humans are naturally self conscious about everything, it’s a natural tendency to want to be accepted by others and what better way than to have the experience of love. The process of marriage has greatly altered since the age of courtship and arranged marriage. Dating has become more of a mental and physical game between people and sometimes we’re so busy, we’ve decided to implement dating into something we use everyday, the internet. There are many reasons that someone would turn to online dating, whether it be a search for their perfect half or because of insecurities or just simply because they’re socially awkward; either way online dating has changed the way we view relationships and ourselves.

Nicholas Sparks and Disney can be credited with the creation of the the ideal ‘prince.’ Romance movies differ far from classic love stories like Pride and Prejudice and Gone With the Wind. Instead of having a struggle into love, the main characters fall to ‘love at first sight’ or in the famous Sparks books, ‘it only took two weeks to fall in love.’ Lets be real, in two weeks you could probably walk away with knowing someone’s favorite food, lest fall in love with them. This idea of a perfect relationship has girls of all ages looking for that specific kind of love. Online dating gives people, not just girls, the perfect opportunity to showcase their personality and show their good qualities to make them seem ‘perfect’, which is riskier because we all know nobody’s perfect. The problem with online profiles are, because only good qualities are shown, choosing an interest becomes more about physical appearance and less common interests (2). Christian Rudder did a survey and girls that show cleavage and guys who show abs get more friend requests than the more conservative pictures (1). That in itself takes away a lot of the importance in a relationship because you’re going to have to interact with this person for the time that you date them so both personalities should probably be compatible and, as Tara Schwinger said, “it’s hard to date someone who is cute but is disgusting while you’re trying to have a decent conversation.” Typing messages to a person over your computer, the user has absolutely no way of knowing, for sure, who they’re talking to. This is the basis for a reality MTV show, Catfish, where hosts help internet couples meet and the truth isn’t what it seems.

In terms of physicality, females are more aware of their looks and guys are more conscious of their masculinity but all in all, we generally worry and take into account what people think of us, whether its because we want to feel loved or because we want attention. Younger generations, due to advanced entertainment, spend less and less time with their families and parents, lets be honest – in some cases, aren’t the best at their jobs. The lack of attention that kids get when growing up affects their later personality. Sometimes a lack of nurturing and attention as a child leads to a more needy or ‘closed-up’ personality in older ages (2). Children with divorced parents often deal with emotional struggles, some with depression, others just want to be loved because their parents were too busy fighting to recognize their existence. The internet gives the individual a chance to start over and change into someone who they wish to be or envisioned themselves as. If you could turn on a computer at any time and access a whole community of people who will willingly be your friend, who have similar interests and situations, and love you for you, who wouldn’t?

(2) Tara Schwinger

Online Dating

Here’s an article about online dating that we can read for class on Friday:

It’s a few years old, and things are changing fast, but I think it will still be useful to discus.

If you’re interested, the OKCupid blog has a aggregated a lot of data from their dating platform and done some entertaining analysis. Here is probably their most read blog post:  You might also look around on the blog and see what else you find.

I’m curious to hear people’s thoughts.